Last weekend, while out with my wife Asha, I bought a pair of sunglasses. Obviously, to me anyway, I needed to start wearing them straight away. Asha then questioned me, using rather overly-harsh terms I think, about why I was walking around a shopping mall in the middle of the afternoon wearing sunglasses. I pointed out that I was road testing them - making sure, whilst in the comfort and safety of Festival City mall, that I didn't walk into people and things, fall down stairs or trip over imaginary cracks in the floor. This didn't convince Asha, who declared that she wasn't going to walk with me if I continued wearing them. One glance into a convenient shop window mirror revealed the reason why she was right to say this - I looked like a spiv*. On a beach, nobody bothers to look at men so it doesn't matter what they look like, but in town men and sunglasses form a difficult juxtaposition. Women, of course, always look good in sunglasses in any location, but at least 75% of men look definitely spiv-like, and I am, unfortunately, one of them. I will wear them on my daily ten-minute walk from Dubai Internet City Metro station to where I teach, Knowledge Village. Once safely out of the sun and inside Knowledge Village I can take them off and look like an English teacher again.
*spiv. English slang word, dating from the 1930's. 1. One who shirks work or responsibility; a slacker. 2. A person who makes a living by underhand and black market dealings.
In a recent English class the topic was favourite films. The learning objectives focused on the vocabulary and grammar required to discuss preferences. Towards the end of the lesson I asked the students what their favourite film was, and nobody had a favourite film. It also transpired that they also didn't have a favourite book, or song. I expected, at the very least, Titanic. I was completely lost for words, as were they. I wasn't sure what to do next as the last part of the lesson required them to describe their favourite film or book, or song. I ended up finding a few words and talking about my favourite film, which took us to the end of the lesson, but rather pointlessly. My favourite film is Educating Rita, where the characters, like me, probably use too many words. Who is interested in me talking about my favourite anything?
There's nothing worse than accidental use of alliteration
I like alliteration, but I think it should be used with care and thought. In Celtic and 17th century poetry we cannot question its use, but everyday use is problematic. It always seems to me that alliteration somehow or other reduces the seriousness of the implications of written and spoken English, which is okay if that is what you want to do, but not otherwise. An argument for using it is to make the alliterated words memorable. However, using motorway madness seems to mask the reality of people driving too quickly and killing or injuring other people. Commuter chaos is miserable for people trying to get to and from work. An habitual party pooper is probably someone who could do with some serious psychotherapy, as does a moaning Minnie. Nobody wants to be in the middle of a family feud or a damaging dispute, which might lead one into the depths of despair. Quite obviously, he who laughs last might laugh the longest, but getting the last laugh often requires either quite a lot of good fortune or well-planned deviousness.
