..listening to another Middle East conspiracy theory

There's nothing worse than listening to another Middle East conspiracy theory.

Personally, I like to think that in the Middle East everything, politically, is what it seems, I have no reason to be cynical, but some outside commentators are. 

The Iraqi invasion of Kuwait in 1990 was encouraged by the US government to.... well, something to do with oil and control of the Middle East. The US invasion of Iraq was something to do with WMI, and oil and gas supply from the Middle East. Morsi and the Muslim Brotherhood won the election due to a US government plot to put an authoritarian leader in place, because of ….... something to do with oil and/or control of the Middle East. The continuing tragedy of Syria was engineered by US oil baron-funded right-wing groups as a way of destroying the power of Iran, Hezbollah and Hamas, because of..... something to do with Israel, oil and control of the Middle East. Better men and women than me subscribe to these views. I do not.

..being late for an interview.

There's nothing worse than being late for an interview.

Yesterday I was travelling in the Dubai Metro from Union Station to GGICO (pronounced jajeeko) Station. The metro is punctual, modern, quiet, clean and civilised, however it's very difficult to get a seat. So I was standing holding the central support rail along with two other people and couldn't help but overhear the conversation between these smart young things.

- Did you get the job?

- No, I was late for the interview - they only asked me a few questions then told me they would notify me by email.

It was my inclination, at this point, to interject with the observation that there's nothing worse than being late for an interview. I didn't, I think they wouldn't have liked me joining in - they didn't seem the type. What if this bright young man had all the attributes required for this job and he didn't get it because of time-keeping? That would be a tragedy. How late was he? Ten minutes, an hour? Did he phone in to say he would be late? Was there a good reason why he was late? Unfortunately, my questions remained unanswered - the doors opened for GGICO and I left the train.

..eyebrows that meet in the middle.

There's nothing worse than eyebrows that meet in the middle. In my youth, in East London, it was a well-known fact that adolescent boys that had eyebrows that met in the middle would grow up to be criminals. Mothers would tell you "stay away from the boy in the corner house - his eyebrows meet." As a thirteen year-old, any sign of the eyebrows being joined by adolescent hair had to be dealt with using dad's razor, and then it became a twice weekly lifelong job keeping it away. I suppose tweezers would have been better, but that was a bit of a girls thing - boys don't really have the skill set to use a pair of tweezers.  If you need proof of the eyebrows theory for men, just look at old Bill Sykes. Obviously, and this doesn't really need saying, girls with joined eyebrows will never get married.

..wet socks

There's nothing worse than wet socks.  You are in town when suddenly you step into a deep puddle. The water splashes up your leg and funnels down into your socks. What can you do? Taking off your shoes and socks and wringing out your socks in the middle of the pavement is simply not possible. Even if you could hide in an alleyway and do it, you would not be able to dry then sufficiently. If you are out with company, saying that you have to go home to change your socks is on the plus side of pathetic. If you are out alone, the time wasted going home and returning doesn't seem to equate with putting up with wet socks.  However, be warned, my grandmother was quite definitive on the health dangers of wearing wet socks - chillblains, athlete's foot, bunions, corns, hard skin, in-growing toenails - at least one would afflict you for the foreseeable future. 

..burnt potatoes.

This is the first entry in my blog devoted to the ironical use of "There's nothing worse than....." Of course, you can only use it when there are at least one million things in the world that are actually worse. Comments and suggestions are mandatory.  There's nothing worse than people who read a blog and don't make a comment.

There's nothing worse than burnt potatoes.  Burnt potatoes happen when you are boiling them and the water in the saucepan evaporates away. Is it because you have boiled them for too long or was it that you did not put enough water in at the start? However, once the potatoes are burnt the time for reflection has passed.  Now is the time to try and elimate the awful smell, then, if possible, to salvage the saucepan. The smell, okay that is possible, but making the saucepan usable - is usually not. Various housekeeping gurus have suggested using a range of home solutions, including vinegar, lemon, salt and bicarbonate of soda, but in my experience it is waste of time. If you were lucky, you were using an old saucepan that you kept meaning to throw away, but that's not normally the case. So that favorite pan that cooked the most amazing pasta sauce only the week before has to make the long journey down the garbage chute (no - we don't recycle in Sharjah).